FEY: And finally, the most important Women’s News item there is, we have our first serious female presidential candidate in Hillary Clinton.
And yet, women have come so far as feminists, that they don’t feel obligated to vote for a candidate just because she’s a woman.
Women today feel perfectly free to make whatever choice Oprah tells them to.
Which raises the question, why are people abandoning Hillary for Obama?
Some say that they’re put off by the fact that Hillary can’t control her husband, and that we would end up with co-presidents.
‘Cause that would be terrible, having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems. Ugh.
Why would you let Starsky talk to Hutch? I wanna watch that show, Starsky.
You know, what is it, America? What is it, are you weirded out that they’re married?
‘Cause I can promise you that they are having exactly as much sex with each other as George Bush and Jeb Bush are.
Then there is the physical scrutiny of her physical appearance.
Rush Limbaugh, the Jeff Conaway of right wing radio, said that he doesn’t think America is ready to watch their president quote “turn into an old lady in front of them.” Really?
They didn’t seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that.
Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch.
Let me say something about that: Yeah, she is.
And so am I and so is this one. (pointing to Amy Poehler)
POEHLER: Yeah, deal with it.
FEY: Know what? Bitches get stuff done.
(Amy says yeah and starts nodding her head, together they get in a rhythm, with Amy saying in response, more yeahs, uh huhs, with a 'you go girl' style)
Like back in grammar school,
they could have had priests teaching you but, no,
they had those tough old nuns who slept on cots
and who could hit ya and you HATED those bitches
But at the end of the school year
you sure KNEW the capital of Vermont!
So COME ON Texas and Ohio
Get on board, it's not too late!...
BITCH IS THE NEW BLACK!